Beware The Number Ten
by ShadeFireDragon
Summary: While Loki has to stick with the Avengers for a bit, Peter Parker, aka Spider-Man, decides to help out whenever Loki had anger issues. Whether it be getting a hotdog, fighting crime, Peter always made sure Loki didn't kill anyone whenever he gets annoyed. Only when certain Avenger *cough* Tony Stark *cough* goes too far, not even Peter can help him. RIP Tony Stark.


**AN: Before the actual one-shot starts, I must first address that I found the idea for this one-shot on a YouTube video called "It Came From Tumblr 5 [Binge Compilation]", from the YouTube channel P.M. Seymour. Basically, he reads off Tumblr posts.**

**The actual Tumblr post belongs to a person named "artemxmendacium". So special thanks to them. This also means that I do not own the idea. I am only expanding on it. Thank you for realizing this. Other usernames that added to the post includes "runnerfivestillalive" and "secretsaway".**

**I do not own Avengers. Avengers is owned by Disney. Or Marvel. Both. One or the other. Or both. Avengers is owned by somebody that is not me, that's for sure.**

**Enjoy the one-shot!**

* * *

"So… after everything you've done… blow up buildings, kill a bunch of innocent people, blah blah blah… and they're letting you off scot-free?!"

Loki wrinkled his nose at the Midgardian genius, billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist, Tony Stark. "Well, I did serve imprisonment for quite a while."

"A sentence is not enough for all of the things you've done," argued Tony.

"Whoa, calm down Stark," tried Steve. "Look, he's done his time, alright? I agree with you, but the Asgardian court has made their choice, and Loki's done what they wanted. Just let bygones be bygones... that's what it's called, I'm pretty sure."

"While he may be anti-social, rude, snarky… alright that's not helping," Thor looked away at Loki's glare. "He is still my brother. You try anything, you'll have to go through me." Loki's glare softened.

"Anyway, while Loki is now free from a cell, for a couple of months, he is to be watched by us in order for the Asgardian courts to be sure of him truly being turned towards the side of good."

"How Shakespeare-y can you get? And I still say that Loki's just pretending. What if he suddenly turns you into a snake or something when you're not paying attention?"

"Well, it wouldn't be a first time," admitted Thor.

As the nearby Avengers argued about Loki, one curious teen walked up to Loki. "Hi! I'm Peter! Peter Parker!" the young hero holds out his hand.

Loki looked at the hand, before looking at the owner of said hand. "That hand's not going to curse me with some kind of black magic, is it?"

"Uh… no?"

"Very well," shrugged Loki. "Loki, of Asgard." He accepted the hand.

"Aren't you a bad guy?" Peter asked, remembering what Tony and the others told him. Loki flinched slightly. "It varies from moment to moment."

"So like… on a scale of one to ten, ten being the worst evil imaginable- like killing puppies!- And um, one being spitting on someone's hotdog, where are you right now?"

Loki honestly didn't have a sure answer on that. _'Who would do something as horrid as spit on someone's pet?'_ he thought to himself.

"…Perhaps a three?"

Peter nodded to himself, before doing it again more confidently. "Ok, cool. Lemme know if it gets above a six!"

With that proclamation, he walked off to who knows where, with Loki watching him as he went.

* * *

To Loki's surprise (as well as everyone else's), Loki followed up on that.

"Hey, Reindeer Games!" Tony called out to him one day. It was just Tony, Peter, and Loki in Avengers Tower. Everyone else was somewhere doing who knows what.

"What is it?" Loki answered slowly. During the Avengers watch on him, he had to live in Avengers Towers. Tony doesn't like this, and takes it out on Loki once in a while.

"During the Chitauri Invasion, why DID you wear those tacky horn things? Hell, how did you walk with all that weight on your head?"

"It's… light? But it is not tacky."

"Yeah it is. Hey, how did you walk through doors with that thing on? Do you have to bend over or something in order to not hit your helmet on the doorway? What does that do to your hair? Or is that a wig you're wearing?" joked an insightful Tony.

Loki growled. He turned to Peter, who was helping Tony work with some kind of tech. "Parker."

Peter looked up. "Yes?"

"Six."

Peter's eyes widened. He took off his safety goggles and gloves, and quickly dragged Loki towards the nearby elevator.

"Hey! What's going on? Why did he just say 'six'? What is this, a date? Please don't tell me this is a date."

"Sorry Mr. Stark!" Peter called out as he clicked the button to the bottom floor. As the elevator doors closed, he shouted, "I think he needs some fresh air! Will be back in an hour!"

Tony just blinked as the elevator went down. "Can't he just open the big ass window, like, 10 steps away from where he was at?"

* * *

Peter led Loki to a nearby hotdog stand. The old man running the stand grinned. "Hey Peter! Who's that fellow you got there? And while we're at it, what can I get for the two of you?"

"Hello Mr. Lee! Can I have two large hot dogs!"

"Mustard, ketchup… any toppings?" Stan Lee asked as he got out two piping hot sausages. Peter grinned. "All of them!"

"Coming right up!" as the old man got the two hot dogs ready, Loki whispered to Peter, "What are you doing?"

"Well, you were getting pretty mad at Mr. Stark right? He can be a bit well… too much for some people," tried Peter. "So… I thought I'd get you a hot dog to help you calm down?"

"And how will eating dog meat help with my feelings on killing Stark for his annoyance?" retorted out Loki.

"Well… it's pretty good! You can't leave New York without eating a hot dog. Do they not have hot dogs in Asgard? Also, it's not dog meat. It's pork, I think," replied Peter as he traded the freshly made hot dogs with some dollars and coins.

"Asgard does not sell 'hot dogs'. I have to say, Midgardian cuisine boggles me," admitted Loki, remembering the pizza he had for dinner at Avengers Tower. "So do we just… eat it now?" he eyed the strange sandwich.

"Not yet," was Peter's quick answer. In minutes, the two had just climbed a fire escape that led all the way up to the ceiling of the building.

Loki took in the sight. Skyscrapers, old apartment buildings, all kinds of buildings; all scattered around for as far as the eye can see.

"I always come out here to eat. The view helps calm me down, at least," said Peter, plopping down at the edge of the roof, feet dangling off the side. Loki joined him hesitantly after.

Looking at the hot dog, in front of him, Loki pointed to one of the condiments. "What is this on the pig meat?"

"Um, that's ketchup. It's a sauce. The yellow one is mustard," pointed out Peter. "Oh, and that's chili."

"What are the green bits?"

"No one knows," shrugged Peter, taking a bite out of his own hot dog.

"How can you eat things when you do not even know what they are?"

"Hey, it's the American way, pal. You don't like it, go back to Philly where you came from!" retorted Peter, slightly muffled from all the food in his mouth.

"I do not come from the land of Philly. I come from Asgard," Loki said, trying to clarify. Peter shrugged and kept eating.

Loki eyed his eating in a disgusted manner, before looking at his own hot dog in a more warily way. Finally, after Peter was half way done with his, and seeing that the young hero wasn't dying or anything, Loki took a tentative bite.

After a few chews, Peter asked, "Well? Best thing you've ever had in your godly life or what?"

Loki contemplated. "Some of the condiments make it sour, yet the red sauce helps balance out the sour taste. Actually, the red sauce is one of if the the only thing that balances out all of the flavor, except for perhaps the meat."

"So… it's good?"

"I believe Thor would say," he coughed before continuing, "'Whoever created this deserves to feed the halls of Valhalla!' or something of the like," imitated Loki, puffing out his chest and all. Peter snorted, which led to the two of them laughing really hard.

"I gotta say," chuckled Peter, wiping a tear from one of his eyes. "For everything the Avengers have told me about you, you're a lot nicer than I thought. Sorry if that sounded mean," he said quickly after.

"Apology accepted. The Chitauri Invasion has definitely been not one of my brightest moments," shrugged Loki, before giving a small smile. "I must thank you for the hot dog. It is a delicacy that I am glad to have enjoyed."

"You're welcomed, I guess. Hot dogs are pretty common in America though, so I'm not sure if it's a delicacy really..."

* * *

And this went on. Every time Loki felt like snapping, he would say a six, or a seven, sometimes even an eight or nine.

Peter would calm him down as best as possible. He always did it differently, whether it be talking about magic, or drag him around Manhattan. Sometimes, if it was around lunch or dinner or breakfast, Peter would take him to someplace new to eat.

The two would even fight crime once in a while. Though that one was rare, it always helped Loki when he needed to vent really badly about something. Of course, Peter would make sure that no one is dying during this.

It was going well. The Avengers noticed that after Peter would take him places who knows where, Loki would become less spiteful, less anti-social, and even more talkative. Sometime Loki would even crack a few jokes here and there.

Of course, sadly, all good things come to an end.

It was almost the end of Loki being watched over by the Avengers. A lot of the Avengers were there as well. Loki was also there, perhaps for the last time, with Peter having tuned out the rest of the world while playing some kind of video game.

"You sure you two aren't actually going on dates or anything?" asked Tony.

No matter how much Loki has changed, he was always indifferent to Tony. "Parker told me early on that whenever I would get frustrated and felt like slaughtering the nearest Midgardian, I would say how I'm feeling on a number scale. If it was above six, he would help me calm myself down," scoffed Loki.

"That is very nice of you, man of spider!" grinned Thor. "To be honest, I do not know how to approach Loki myself. It is good for him to talk to someone once in a while." Peter overheard and grinned, but still didn't take his eyes off the video game.

"Yeah, well, as long as you two aren't having sex or something, then we're good," said Tony.

Clint almost spit out his water. "Why would they be having sex?! One of them is literally a teenager, and another is… how old are you guys again?"

Thor scratched his chin. "If it helps, I remember as a child visiting Midgard and playing with one of those large reptiles. I believe you call it a 'T-Rex'?"

"Yeah, see? These guys are literally as old as when dinosaurs were still walking the fucking Earth! You seriously think Loki is going to try something with someone many, MANY times younger than him?!" exclaimed Clint. Natasha looked at him crossly at the swear word.

Tony ignored him, and started singing. "Loki and Peter, sitting near a tree! K-I-S-S-I-N-G!"

He walked closer to Loki, still singing that annoying tune. Soon, he was literally right next to him, yelling it into his ear.

"Tony, that's enough!" said Steve.

But it was too late. Loki twitched. "Parker…"

"Huh?" Peter finally looked up from his game.

"Ten."

* * *

**AN: And that's that folks! Thank you for reading this one-shot.**

**Again, I repeat from the previous AN above, I do NOT own Avengers. I repeat: I got this idea from someone else. This is not my idea, I'm just expanding on it.**

**The YouTube channel's name is "P.M. Seymour", and the Tumblr usernames are "artemxmendacium", "runnerfivestillalive", and "secretsaway".**

**This story was made for entertainment purposes. So uh, yeah, that's pretty much it. Please don't sue me, I gave proper credit and stuff (hopefully)!**

**Also, to my other faithful readers, don't worry, I'll be updating my other stories soon! It will most likely be the Hetalia x Avengers one! See ya!**

**-Dragon**


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